Into My Mind

Sometimes, I wish I were a man! I have decided that God must be punishing women for Eve's indulgence in the apple and our punishment is hormones. Why must I...

1) cry when I find out a co-worker had her baby
2) cry during my niece's father/daughter dance at her variety show
3) cry when my children do something new or cute

Really, you'd think I was a pool with a leak. Such is life!!

I just want to give a shout out to my mom. I thank God everyday that I have her here with me and I know that for each day I am alive she will be there watching out for me. Nothing special triggered this post, no special phone calls, no presents. I just wanted her to know that I love her and everyone else can know while I'm at it!

Mo started dance last night! She was so cute. It was just her and two other little girls in Dance 101. Last night they learned kicks and turns. They all tried so hard, but little, uncoordinated legs just don't allow for elegant turns. They did learn though that if you try to go quicker than your legs can handle; you will fall on your butt. She was very excited before hand and left just as happy and ready to go and show off her moves, which she did. We went by Grandma S's to drop off some cans for Grandpa and the Marine Corps League and there was Mo just twirling her heart out in the kitchen.

Her older brother joined in the fun of dance class out in the hall and made such a demonstration that the 16-year girl teaching the class ask him if he wanted to join them... at which point he got embarrassed and shy and took off down the hall. Silly boys, always running away from the pretty girls. All went well and that meant a nice evening. I feel bad though because J drove to softball only to find out that the ump called the game due to weather. Oh well, he had to drive back home, sit on his butt, and watch Survivor. Not exactly his dream evening, but hey it worked.

Okay loving internet, it's time for me to get all Bridget Jone's on my ass. My brother will be getting married in 95 days. Although this is not my wedding, it is motivation to lose some weight. Actually, it may not be so much of a motivation as a target date. I can't believe that through the years I've put on so much, but I do have quite a baby belly pooch going. That's probably the only thing that bugs me. I can't deny it, though people, if you had to carry my boobs around you'd decide to lose some weight too. Okay so here we go:

Monday, April 25, 2005
Weight: 155lbs

I am now devoted to decreasing my intake of the wonderful chewy chocolate chip cookies, goldfish crackers, and coke and increasing my intake of water. I will also begin to do some type of activity (probably walking at lunch). The above mentioned intake of coke is that of the beverage, not the illegal substance. Although, most pictures you see of drug addicts are skinny...I wonder. No, I can't do that. I've never even tried pot so I can't just go jumping in the deep end with coke. I guess I'll have to rely on the old fashioned "eat well and exercise"!

I hate to post my weight, like most women I typically lie, but I'm hoping it will be motivation and a continual reminder. I will keep you posted on my progress and hopefully by July that number will be decreased by at least 10!

Here is a chuckle since my last couple posts haven't been happy go lucky. Before reading, you just need to know that I work with a bunch of engineers and so this is all in good humor.

Jokes I received from a co-worker:

In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.
The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go.

The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem......"

I thought that was rather cute. This next one, I just love because of the ending!

An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern
angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly
said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let
in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with
the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building
improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning,
flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a
pretty popular guy among the demons.

One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a
sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and
there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with
next."

God's face clouded over and he exploded! , "What? You've got an
engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down
there; send him up here."

Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the
staff, and I'm keeping him."

God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things
are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or
I'll sue."

Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU
going to get a lawyer?"

I know that you are probably looking and asking "where is bitter people break my heart-1?" Well, it's a draft. I decided not to post it, because all of the details are unnecessary. I just wanted to state for the record that people who attack other people's character in the hopes of some revenge should get a dose of their own medicine.

J has had my character and that of his own questioned recently and I am proud to say that it held no validity. I just hope that someday the person who did the attacking also gets a similar treatment and realizes just how unneeded, mean, and downright hurtful it is.

Anyway, there are no worries. J and I are still happily married (6 years now), working together, car-pooling together, and the discussion of another child has not been silenced.

We are happy and that is all that matters. No matter what crazy thoughts people feel need to be hollered.

I know every parent has these moments, but I GIVE UP! I don't want to be a parent anymore, I don't want to be responsible anymore, I don't want to be accountable. Damn it, I want to be a kid again or something I never was; an young adult with no spouse or child.

I love my family, I love my husband more than any other person on this planet and my love for my children can't even compare to that. BUT... I want a break. I want a child that's not going to throw tantrums at every turn of the head. I want a child that wants to learn and progress and doesn't look me straight in the face and say "I'm stupid and want to stay in first grade." These are battle I can't handle. I don't know how to make my child love to learn, much less like it. I don't know how to inspire the desire to read. Right now, reading is a forced practice completed every night. I don't know what to do.

Okay, that was my outburst. Now, it's back to being a parent and enforcing the ever dreaded bedtime. Thanks for listening.

Let me tell you, life has been busy lately. Although, I can't really complain because the work day has been flying by. So, nothing exciting really happening at work. Missy's last day is quickly approaching, sniff, and it turns out that another employee gave his resignation and will be departing us on the same day. Crazy! Oh well, Missy is irreplaceable, but we've already hired the other person's replacement. It's business people, I tell you "strictly business."

Home life has been insane. We've had some fun days lately, but man three kids is tiring. Over the weekend, I took the kids to see my mom. She was trapped outside for fear of blowing herself up with the broken oven. So, we hung out there until the gas guy came. Oh was he ever a cutie! Mom said he was even cuter when they got inside and he took his hat off. I can only imagine a little strip tease, but I know that didn't happen. Oh the horror on my mother's face had it! Just thinking about it make me crack up. Sunday I took the kids to the Riverfront for some fun and frolic. Needless to say my children don't understand the concept of frolicking. It does not mean leave your bikes with your mother to push while she's pushing your brother in the stroller, so you can take off and run. At least they were happy and no one screamed at each other, pushed the other, or just generally cried. They actually laughed and had fun!!

Last night... SUCKED!!!! Our oldest is going through this nice little phase of jealously 18 months after the baby is born. He's 7 now and can throw tantrums with the best 2 year olds out there. He piddled around the house last night just complaining about wanting to go outside, but wouldn't go. Complaining about how he wanted his sister to go outside, but she didn't want to go and he wasn't going without her. Just complaining! At about 7:30pm I informed him that if he was going to go play outside he better get it done because they always come in around ten to 8pm to get ready for bed and he was quickly running out of time. So, he slugs himself out complaining the whole damn way. His sister finally decides about 3 minutes later that she will join him. Just want he wanted right, for her to go out? Yes, he showed his appreciation by pushing her off the toys. Man did that ever kill the evening quick. He had to come in then, but not until I called his name four times and finally walked out to physically get him. Since he didn't come in when called, that landed him in groundation from outside play today. This little piece of information then led to the world's largest, throw myself down, kick and scream tantrum; landing him in his room for a chill out session. Finally, when he makes his way down the stairs (with permission) he's still crying and doesn't come through the gate right away. He just sits there at the bottom of the steps and cries. Well, anyone with multiple children knows that each child thinks that they can magically take over the role of parent and deal with their siblings. No, Mo didn't do a thing. She just sat there and let him cry. It was A that decided he was to be the parent because obviously I was getting no where. So, my little 18 month old creation walks to the steps, sticks out his right index finger, and says as clearly as I've ever heard "STOP!" I did have to tell him not to yell at his brother because he was not the daddy, but come on how do you correct a toddler that just did exactly what you wanted? (Plus, at this point I'm laughing hysterically) He has no clue what he did, he just knows that when you get told no and start to cry, you then get told to stop. Ahhh, what wonderful children I am raising. They can just go and raise each other.

I guess that's it for now. I wonder what tonight holds in store?

I know I'm a dork if I get excited about phones, but they're cool. We have this phone system that just didn't work right when it was installed. Well, that's because it was installed wrong. Thursday and Friday we had someone come in to fix all the issues and set-up the system properly. Let me tell you, this system is neat. We can now actually receive phone calls, send it to auto attendant, ignore it, etc. Plus I can answer my phone with a click of my mouse, for those days that I just can't bring myself to reach out for the receiver, and check my voice messages through email. So cool.

Blood:
Well, last night J decided to do the noble thing of donating blood. Go him! I have yet to give again since the passing out in the school gym junior year. Do not allow a person of the male gender to donate their blood without feeding them at least two decent meals that day. A hotdog and chips 15 minutes before going does not cut it and then they come back all crabby. No one likes a crabby husband, that's probably worse than a bitchy wife; at least in my book.

Travel:
Our new travel department is not so good. I'll just leave it at that.

Phones:
We have working phones at work now!!! I'll explain more later. Very busy...possible overtime.

Okay I'm not sick, but I sure do sound it. I've got that allergy induced scratchy throat. I bet I could make a boat load right now if I only had a 900 number. You want to call me? I sound all sexy, except for the hacking. The hacking is probably a turn off. Too bad, I guess phone sex won't be a career change after all.

I forgot to say

1) I don't like to sit in the grass without a blanket
2) I won't eat meat off the bone (ie: chicken wings, legs, etc)

My mother informed me that "mother's have the unspoken right of eating the ears off the chocolate Easter bunnies"! YES!! I just a whole damn bunny. Didn't you know the unspoken rule of "he who opens the package gets to eat the whole thing"? This works for other things as well; cheetos, doritos, marshmallows, etc.

Hey if you're going to eat food that's bad for you, you might as well eat it in the morning so you can work it off all day.

I just began my day at work and already called my mom for the daily "I love you" phone call. I just realized that I don't really have that much to do. I have stuff that I can do, but not stuff I want to do. Oh well, at this point I'll do whatever keeps me busy and the day a passin'.

I really did enjoy writing the 100 things about me. I hope others do it just so I can learn new things. I re-read it this morning and it's true that you can learn alot about a person just from a bunch of useless facts. My best friend was funny because she commented that she probably already knew the majority of the things I wrote. But hey, she wouldn't be my best friend if she didn't!!

Speaking of my best friend, I miss her sooooo much. Just over two years ago, her husband made the decision to join the Air Force. I commend him for that because I respect anyone willing to serve our country. (did I mention my dad and brother were both Marines? that's one of my favorite things to share) Anyway, so M joined the Air Force and lo and behold this took my best friend away. They moved to Italy for his first station about 1 1/2 years ago. I can't believe it's been that long...only 1 1/2 years to go. I was counting down to January 2007, when they get to come home, only to keep getting reassured by her that they may accept another over seas assignment or stay where they are. Did you know that you get paid more if you go over seas? I knew this, but gosh darn it I miss them and my kids miss her kids(her oldest son is 6 months older than mine).

I miss them, but they are getting to travel the world and we message quite frequently. I guess since I don't know when they'll come home, I'll start a Shelli fund. Some people save for shoes, some for an education, I'll save to travel to Italy!! Although, by the time I have the money they'll probably be in Japan or Germany or Africa or who knows where. Maybe back home?????

I love you Shelli and I'm glad you called me the other day!!

I've seen these on other sites or suggested for those what to write days, and I thought it might be fun.

100) I have red hair
099) I have blue eyes
098) I had braces my freshman year of high school
097) I wear glasses
096) I'm too lazy for contacts
095) I am right handed
094) I wear a ring on my right hand that matches rings that both my sisters have
093) I'm currently 25 years old
092) I went to 13 years of Catholic education (K-Senior year)
091) I attended Baptist services for awhile after getting married
090) I absolutely detest feet
089) I have three children
088) I always wanted a boy first and that's what I got
087) I actually love my job 99% of the time
086) I have dreams of working in the Criminal Justice field
085) When I was a child, my life's aspiration was to be my parents maid
084) My high school aspiration was to become a lawyer
083) My adult aspiration... live to see another day
082) I am pro-choice
081) I claim to be a Democrat, but would like to believe I'm an "issues" person
080) I bite my fingernails
079) I hate to wear make-up
078) I prefer to be inside then outside
077) I am a TV junkie
076) I am the youngest of 5
075) My childhood nickname was jr red or reetz (a shortened version of reeses pieces)
074) I have only had one true friend that has stuck with me since grade school
073) I hate driving (can't find my way out of a box, gosh darn it)
072) I didn't learn to ride a bike till I was 10
071) I roller skated my entire childhood - I could do tricks too
070) I had never been on a roller coaster until my 8th grade trip to Six Flags
069) I have a fear of public pools
068) I refuse to use public restrooms unless completely mandatory
067) I don't floss
066) I used to have a recurring dream as a child of being trapped under a quilt my grandmother made
065) I don't have a favorite animal
064) My favorite color is yellow
063) I listen to Meatloaf
062) I don't really like large social gatherings
061) I love to dance, but have no clue how
060) My favorite flower is a tie between the daisy and the calalily
059) I was scared of getting married
058) I was 19 when I got married
057) I'm a hopeless romantic
056) I will not eat raw tomatoes
055) I will eat ketchup and spaghetti sauce
054) I use to smoke and still do on the occasional social event
053) I use to smoke in the band room in high school
052) I was the wild one in high school but everyone thought I was innocent
051) I am by no means an athlete
050) I play piano
049) I play flute
048) I don't like people mad at me
047) I like to read criminology based novels
046) If I could meet one female actress it would be Angelina Jolie
045) If I could meet one actor it would be Johnny Depp
044) I would move back to Colorado if I could afford it
043) I'm allergic to the cold
042) I didn't have cable growing up
041) I grew up on country music and it's still my favorite
040) I mispronounce magnet
039) My favorite drink is a whiskey sour
038) My second favorite drink is a shot of tequila
037) I'm finally growing my hair out after having it cut to my chin or shorter of the past 9 years
036) I'm very much like my mother and I wouldn't have it any other way
035) I have the greatest admiration for my father
034) I talk about people behind their backs
033) I've overheard people talking about me behind my back
032) I don't always feel like I fit in with my siblings
031) I have no problem with homosexuals
030) I remember my first crush (Bill in 4th grade) like it was yesterday
029) I love to hug and kiss my children and rock them to sleep
028) I love ballpark hotdogs
027) I have never tried pot or any other substance there related
026) I love fairies but don't want to admit it because that's what my sister collects
025) I prefer clean cut lines and earth tones
024) I'm the only one of the girls in my family that doesn't have a tattoo
023) I only have one earring per ear
022) I've only loved two men in my life and was lucky enough to marry the better one
021) I had my oldest child 6 days before I turned 18
020) I own two fish (Tommy the Power Ranger, Dora the Explorer) and a sucker fish named Daniel Jackson (character from Stargate)
019) I'm a female that likes Sci-Fi
018) I love thriller movies (psychology scary, not boo scary)
017) I hate the word ka-ka (which my husband uses instead of yucky)
016) I like to go to bed early (9-10pm)
015) I checked my email at least 4 times a day
014) I used to have a crush on Prince or the Artist Formally Known as Prince, or whatever he's called now
013) I don't burn candles
012) I hate to put laundry away
011) I love to bake, but not necessarily cook
010) My favorite ice cream is currently cookie dough
009) I still live in an apartment
008) I never hung out with kids in my own class, just older
007) I married a man 6 years older and ironically the same age as the sibling closes to me
006) I have never owned a dog or cat (allergies)
005) I have to have a blanket to sleep even if it's summer
004) I like to go to my mom's for a hug on a bad day
003) I like to be noticed, but not the center of attention
002) I made the flowers for my wedding and just recently for my aunt's wedding
001) I would someday love to visit Ireland

I guess that's it. So, what do you think? Did I leave anything to the imagination?

Okay, either I don't have a very expansive reading audience or my blog just sucks. I just wanted to point out that I added an email address to my blog. I was hoping that this would increase people's comments, for those that don't want to create an id to comment. I do understand that my loyal readers are from my reality and have my personal email address, this is fine. I was just hoping that someone out there that maybe I didn't already know was reading my blog.

Here are some tips in case you click on my email address and Outlook opens up, but you don't use Outlook. You can change your default.
1) Click Tools at the top of your internet page
2) Click Internet Options
3) Click Programs
4) The second item listed is Email
5) You then choose the email service that you use (hopefully it's listed)

Well I know I haven't posted lately, but there's just not a whole lot going on.

Bought a new pair of jeans, trying to break them in. They're getting looser by the moment (some would say like their owner, har har har). I'm still not used to them though. I used to buy pants that hit my natural waistline; you know that space right below your boobs. These hit me at the hips, that wouldn't be bad and all except that my nice leftover baby belly now sticks out, YUCK!!! I keep saying this must be motivation to lose weight, but come on you honestly don't believe that!

I'm pissed at the Fighting Illini, just to let you know. Because of their loss, we didn't win the $500 + first place prize (actually we got kicked out of all the money spots) and so, dashed are my hopes of a washer and dryer. Damn gambling on sports teams!!

I watched "Finding Neverland" last night and have thus reinforced my love of Johnny Depp. I have loved him since the days of "Twenty-one Jump Street".

Some people I know, Missy and Mullsey, have been discussing which men that would like to have come to town for a visit.

Missy's Site

Here are my entries for please come to town:
1) Johnny Depp - again a childhood love
2) Vin Diesel - he is my "take me and ravage me" romance novel fantasy
3) Edward Norton - don't ask, just nod in agreement
4) David Bowie - I know I might be on my own, but Labyrinth just did it for me and I know my sisters would agree.

Have these people never seen the movie "The Matrix"? Or our unemployment rate? But then again, I guess you don't have to pay a robot.

"Until now, robots were used at factories, in assembly lines to make cars or semiconductors," said Yamamoto. "In the future, they will be used in homes, offices, hospitals and amusement parks."

Again... GO SEE THE MATRIX! I can lend it to you, I own it.