Into My Mind

Did you know that if you Google my name "teresa", on the first page of results you'll find a picture of Mother Teresa, some freaky painting of a goth/big breasted creation of some man's imagination, and a blond looking whore that wants you to click on her pictures? Did you also know that within in the first 30 pages of results, you will find nothing about me? I got bored after the first 30 pages.

Did you know that if you Google "boogers", the first result you'll find is someone else's blog called "Pickin' Boogers"?

I also Googled fairies, poop, fingernail, and blackboard paint. I really have no life.

I just found the most perfect site for me. Minimal verbiage, maximum humor and it struck a profound personal cord with me. Yeah right, I just found it hilarious. I really want to copy it here, but that would be like cheating or something. So, I guess I'll just keep with my senseless blabber and secretly despise this person for being so damn creative. Check everything including the "About" button b/c even that is comical. Bastard.
The Daily Mumps

I swear I'm raising a hypochondriac. Last week and into the weekend, for about 4 days Nick swore he broke his wrist. I kept telling that if he had broke his wrist he wouldn't be able to do those hand stands, but instead he just proved me wrong by yelling "Owe" while doing hand stands.

Tonight, he broke his foot; at least that's what I'm told. He rolled off the couch, got stepped on by Aiden, and now his foot his broke. Oh look, there he goes running circles through the kitchen.

At least he hasn't figured out how to play sick to miss school. We have no fake throw-up, no thermometer under the heating pad, no Tabasco sauce under the nostrils creating a runny nose. Nope, he just thinks that everyone part of his body is broken.

Did you know that being a single parent is rough sometimes? No, seriously it's not really fun and games all day. I can't believe it either. I totally thought my kids would listen to me and help me around the house.

So, this past Saturday I hurt my neck. Still not sure if I pinched something, pulled something, or hey just got out of whack. All I do know is that spending a half hour on the floor because you can't move your right arm sucked! I'm doing good now and I'm guessing it was probably a mixture of tension, stress, anxiety, etc. resulting in a pulled muscle.

Anyway, the point of this story is what happened on Sunday afternoon. I still was feeling pretty rough on Sunday. So my Mom came by in the afternoon for about 2 hours (intention being to rub my neck and then let me nap). Probably within 20 minutes of showing up, Nick comes barreling down the stairs just a hollarin' about needed help with Aiden.

Aiden had not only pooped in his diaper, he took off his pants, took off his diaper (in the upstairs bathroom), attempted to climb up on the toilet, and when that didn't work, he attempted to wipe himself and clean up the mess. There was poop all over the bathroom, Aiden got a bath, and my Mom totally felt sorry for me. SWEET! You can always rely on your parents (parents-in-law) to feel the pain because believe or not at one time they were in the same situations AND they always seem to have the good stash of pain killers.

Right now I so feel like impersonating that portrait "The Scream." Actually that's what my whole life feels like right now; one giant scream. I've discovered that once a child learns how to speak until they are about 20, they have no sense of an indoor voice. EVERYTHING is in SCREAM, WHINE, SCREAM, CRY, SCREAM, SCREECH, SCREAM.

I know you think I'm joking, but I'm not. The volume in my house is off the charts. There's nothing like hearing the following sentences at 10x the needed level:

01) I HAVE TO POOP!
02) NICK HIT ME!
03) DID NOT, SHE STARTED IT!
04) I WANT SOME FOOD!
05) GET ME SOME FOOD!
06) WHERE'S MY GAME?
07) WHEN DO I GET MY GAMEBOY BACK?
(when you stop screaming, which probably implies never)
08) AHHHHHH!
09) DO YOU WANT TO GO PLAY CARDS?
10) MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!

Number 10 is the reason why all Mom's at one point in their careers as parents go on strike (and change their name).

It's quiet now. It's never quiet. I must worry and become frantic and run upstairs to see what horrible things have occurred that would silence my children.

I guess I need to come clean and not blame my dear old husband for everything. When discussing Nick's tooth loss, I made mention of J's infamous teeth pulling. Well yes that is all true, but I, myself, have not had much luck in the area of the mouth either. I guess my children will never lose their teeth, nor gain any teeth, for I am a 26 year old woman who has only had 1 of her 12 year molars come in. Not only am I'm lacking the knowledge that is gained with wisdom teeth, I am cursed with only the knowledge that is gained from one's 6 year molars and 1 poor lonesome 12 year.

Explains so much, doesn't it?

Plus, it is now written in my dentistry file that I must have pediatric equipment used during exams because my mouth is so small. Man, did that get me off the hook for so many other things... wink, wink.

side note: Nick has opted out of the visit from the tooth fairy at this time. He is instead choosing to save his tooth until he adds another, and another, and another, etc. He logically feels that although he may be left the same amount of money for each tooth, it is better to get it in bulk than a trinket here or there.

The Hole in His Mouth
Last night, Nick lost his first tooth. Yes, he's 8 years old. Yes, this is late to just be starting on baby teeth loss. And yes, this runs honestly through the family. His father had to have something like 7 baby teeth pulled his senior year of high school.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Today I have been a daughter for 26 years, a mother for 8 years and 6 days, a wife of 6 years and 9 months, and a steady employee of a company for 2 years 11 months and 27 days.

My life is so fulfilling and I can only thank those that have left their imprint on my life. I have had my ups and downs and even some sideways moments, but today is definitely an up.

Thanks to all of you have made the past 26 years so much fun and such a learning experience. With each day I learn something new about this world and myself and this journey is not close to being over.

Love you all!

Let's see the kids and I watched SkyHigh about 4 times, I watched 40 Year Old Virgin 1 1/2 times and we just rented Fantastic 4 and Wedding Crashers.

Oh I forgot, the weekend started out with a good dose of Hot Chick. Nick really enjoyed the concept of a girl trapped in a boy's body; Rob Schneider's body no less. He cracks me up, Deuce Bigalow was hilarious.

Aiden is now 2 and enjoys potty training. Well, I should say he enjoys going in the bathroom, getting naked, sitting on the toilet, wiping, and getting off; no actual peeing. I typically take him in there, but there have been occasions where Nick has taken him. Nick knows how to put Aiden's seat on the toilet and tries to be very motivating for Aiden.

This morning the boys were in my room and I convinced Nick to go downstairs and turn the cartoons on so I could get what turned out to be only 4 more minutes sleep. I hear the TV turn on and then a few seconds later here comes Nick. "Mom, we need your help. Aiden went potty on the toilet and put too much toilet paper in. I don't know what to do."

On my way downstairs I ask Nick if Aiden actually went or just did his typical sitting. No, for the first time ever, Aiden actually peed on the toilet (in the toilet). He did sit on it once and sprayed the wall. Anyway, I guess Nick knows what he's doing and has truly embraced the role of big brother.

WAY TO GO NICK AND AIDEN!

After getting home from work and putting the meatloaf in the oven, I go upstairs to change before peeling the potatoes. I decided on comfy clothes and chose my husband's fleece Old Navy pants and a white tank top. On to the kitchen...

Standing peeling potatoes and in walks Moira

Mo: "Why are you dressed that way?"
Me: "Why am I dressed what way?"
Mo: "Like that."
Me: "Well, I don't have anywhere to go tonight and I'm done working. That's why."
Mo: "Well, those doesn't look good together."
She turns to leave
Me: "So sorry for offending Miss Fashion Editor."
She turns on her heel, hand on hip
Mo: "I was just saying it doesn't look good."
She turns again and returns to her TV show

Some people's lives are dictated by the television or magazines; my fashion sense is being critiqued by a 5 year old.

Oh my gosh, my baby is 8. I can't believe I have a kid that's big enough to be 8. Am I really that old??

--Happy Birthday to his Grandma Walker, too. Did you know that it was an evil plot against my family to have my first born on the day of my mother-in-law's birthday? hee hee hee hee
I have to make a joke of this because Moira's actual due date was the same as my father-in-law's birthday. Thank god she was two days late or how would we explain that no, we didn't actually plan this; we just have sex at all the wrong times of the year.

Well we dropped J at the airport yesterday morning. He called during his Houston lay-over and then once he got settled into a hotel in Louisiana. He did mention something about never wanting to use Houston Hobby again. Yet I didn't ask if it was worse than Dulles airport (I know that one is rough too). He is settled back in, luckily in the hotel he likes, and starts back to work today. I think his going back was filled with mixed emotions. He missed me and the kids, but really the noise of this household gets old after awhile. BUT, he did say that the quiet of a hotel room gets old after awhile. Anyway, he's back for now but we get to see him earlier than we normally would if everything goes through with this house he'll be back January 31 for closing. YEA!!!

I will have to admit that I didn't like putting him back on a plane, but it was a lot smoother this time and whether it be good or bad, a lot less emotional. I think it helped that we just departure drop instead of walking him to security. I didn't have a chance to hug him multiple times or say how I was going to miss him. So, there were no tears. Plus, I've discovered that I can survive and anticipate his return. Hopefully this next visit won't be filled with a stomach bug that involves multiple barfings. Almost everyone single one of us threw up during his time home.

Last night SUCKED!!! Aiden woke up at about 1am, crying for his Dad. Then when he discovered he wasn't in bed with me, he screamed. Then when he discovered his Dad wasn't on the couch, he screamed. It was a very emotional night. Aiden also woke up at 3am and Nick at 4am. Such fun being a single parent it is!