Thursday, July 28, 2005
I've Turned into Phoebe
Okay those of you that are "Friends" fans, must remember the episode where Phoebe got really mad at Ross but couldn't remember why and it just turned out that he did something in her dream and not in real life. Well, Shelli I'm mad at you! You let me kiss another boy last night in my dream. I'm married woman; what were you thinking? I would never let anything like that happen to you. How dare!
So obviously I had a strange dream last night. My best friend and I were out for a night on the town, but instead of going out with our common friends (you know her mom and the mothers and sisters of the people we went to school with) we were actually out with people we went to school with.
We were out having fun with an entire group of ex-classmates and there was dancing and drinking and more drinking and dancing. The next thing I remember is kissing a boy, man I should say, but he was a boy when I had a crush on him in 4th grade. Now, I've never actually kissed this guy in real life, not even at my 13th birthday party when we got locked in the bathroom together. You know the game 7 minutes of heaven? Well, for him it was more like 7 minutes with really prude girl too nervous to even talk. Anyway, so I remember kissing this man and then completely pulling away and thinking "Oh God, I'm married. J's going to kill me."
...and then I woke up.
Shelli, it's all your fault!!! HOw that can be since you're in Italy, I don't know. BUT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
So obviously I had a strange dream last night. My best friend and I were out for a night on the town, but instead of going out with our common friends (you know her mom and the mothers and sisters of the people we went to school with) we were actually out with people we went to school with.
We were out having fun with an entire group of ex-classmates and there was dancing and drinking and more drinking and dancing. The next thing I remember is kissing a boy, man I should say, but he was a boy when I had a crush on him in 4th grade. Now, I've never actually kissed this guy in real life, not even at my 13th birthday party when we got locked in the bathroom together. You know the game 7 minutes of heaven? Well, for him it was more like 7 minutes with really prude girl too nervous to even talk. Anyway, so I remember kissing this man and then completely pulling away and thinking "Oh God, I'm married. J's going to kill me."
...and then I woke up.
Shelli, it's all your fault!!! HOw that can be since you're in Italy, I don't know. BUT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Bachelorette Party Update
Sorry for not telling you how the bachelorette party went. Here is a quick rundown.
1) very nice company and conversation
2) pleasant finger foods (except the cheese cubes started to melt, as well as the guests)
3) stayed non-alcoholic for the whole day - I just couldn't drink in 100+ degree weather
4) new song was developed entitled "Beads of Sweat Rolling Down My Butt Crack"
(it may have been "Beads of Sweat Dripping Down My Butt Crack")
5) Sweat stain down my back - very attractive when getting up to leave
6) Lots of butt floss given as gifts - personally I find it comfortable, the bride-to-be not so sure of that
7) bought 1 bottle of wine as not to waste the money I brought along
8) only saw one penis that day - very depressing count considering it was a bachelorette party
There you go, I mentioned my butt twice in one day and just the word butt quite a bit in this post. I love my butt. I'm going to go rub my butt. (hee hee) I know I just made somebody blush and somebody cringe.
1) very nice company and conversation
2) pleasant finger foods (except the cheese cubes started to melt, as well as the guests)
3) stayed non-alcoholic for the whole day - I just couldn't drink in 100+ degree weather
4) new song was developed entitled "Beads of Sweat Rolling Down My Butt Crack"
(it may have been "Beads of Sweat Dripping Down My Butt Crack")
5) Sweat stain down my back - very attractive when getting up to leave
6) Lots of butt floss given as gifts - personally I find it comfortable, the bride-to-be not so sure of that
7) bought 1 bottle of wine as not to waste the money I brought along
8) only saw one penis that day - very depressing count considering it was a bachelorette party
There you go, I mentioned my butt twice in one day and just the word butt quite a bit in this post. I love my butt. I'm going to go rub my butt. (hee hee) I know I just made somebody blush and somebody cringe.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Guess what I've got! Guess why I can't seem to keep anything inside of me for more than 1 hour after I eat before it comes shooting out my ass or my favorite is when it really, really wants to come out and nothing happens. At least now when people ask if I'm pregnant because of the nausea, I can say "No, I have irritable bowel syndrome." I am special I have a syndrome. I'm sure now that there are special clubs I can join. Syndrome groups.
Do you know how you fix irritable bowel syndrome? It's simple; just take the little purple pill and a good heaping dose of Metamucil daily. I get to take Metamucil. Again, I am a blessed creature. I think I will attempt to get the pill form, but if you know me, you know that I don't mix well with pills (hence the introduction of "the ring" to my system). I thought I said bye-bye to pills long ago. I guess it's okay though because if I screw up these pills; no child will be developed; I'll just have to take one hell of a crap.
Huh, well enough talk of my backside for one day. Although it is looking rather cute in a pair of khakis I forgot I had. All hail those with syndromes; we shall go out drinking together one night!
Do you know how you fix irritable bowel syndrome? It's simple; just take the little purple pill and a good heaping dose of Metamucil daily. I get to take Metamucil. Again, I am a blessed creature. I think I will attempt to get the pill form, but if you know me, you know that I don't mix well with pills (hence the introduction of "the ring" to my system). I thought I said bye-bye to pills long ago. I guess it's okay though because if I screw up these pills; no child will be developed; I'll just have to take one hell of a crap.
Huh, well enough talk of my backside for one day. Although it is looking rather cute in a pair of khakis I forgot I had. All hail those with syndromes; we shall go out drinking together one night!
Friday, July 22, 2005
Harry was Great
Well my little butter beers, Harry is complete for another possible 2 years. I did get my book on-time by 5:30pm Saturday and by Tuesday evening the story was read. I really do enjoy the Harry Potter books. I'm very upset though that book 7 is not ready for my pleasure. They says patience is a virtue, but I've never listened much to what they say.
I would love to discuss my readings here, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone still reading or wanting to read. I will just save my laments for those that wish to talk in private.
Talk to you all later!! Must go sharpen my claws and comb my snakes now.
I would love to discuss my readings here, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone still reading or wanting to read. I will just save my laments for those that wish to talk in private.
Talk to you all later!! Must go sharpen my claws and comb my snakes now.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Bachelorette Party
Okay, so this Saturday I have the bachelorette party to attend for my brother's soon to be wife and my soon to be sister-in-law. Her party is being hosted at a winery. I understand (C I love you) but my brother is a prude and will probably be seeing no naked women at his party, but a winery? I don't know who's idea that was. I'm sure it will be enjoyable, don't think I'm bitching about that, but I don't think it's the appropriate place to wear my penis earrings or bring the "nipple" shaped erasers...
And for once I thought I'd have somewhere to wear the "naked front of a woman" shirt my mother gave me at my bachelorette party. Gosh darn, the fates have a way of stopping me from wearing that all the time!
And for once I thought I'd have somewhere to wear the "naked front of a woman" shirt my mother gave me at my bachelorette party. Gosh darn, the fates have a way of stopping me from wearing that all the time!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Scary Things
Yesterday [N] had his last t-ball game and he got a medal! It was a scary morning though because one little girl on the purple team got real sick. She ran over to her mom during her team's turn to bat to get a drink, Diet Pepsi. I swear it was a second later, quite literally a blink of the eye, and she was down. She had completely passed out and was non-responsive. Luckily, [J] and I were close and the second someone said 911, [J] had it dialed and the phone in the mom's hand. By the time the paramedics arrived, she was awake again, but was completely disoriented and unhappy. They took her to the ambulance, but finally released her back to her parents without having to go to the hospital. From what we could find out, she had just gotten overheated and her body couldn't take it. When she came out of the ambulance, after being in the air conditioning, she was calm again, but you could tell that all she wanted to do was go home.
It was sad to watch, we were all glad that she was fine, but you could just see panic in all the parents' eyes. Almost immediately parents, myself included, went to check on their children and coaches stopped everyone from what they were doing and basically said, "I don't care if you just took a drink or not, take one now!" What I found upsetting though was the fact that on a day like yesterday (very hot), at a sporting event (that children participate in) there should be no reason these kids should be drinking soda. I was probably one of the youngest parents present and I knew not to give your child, or yourself, soda while participating in a physical activity. It actually dehydrates you more - sugar, caffeine, carbonated water, etc.
Below is a link I found that simply explains this. I was worried and if I can just inform one person out there and keep them from getting sick or their child, then this post was worth it.
Why Soda Pop Drains You Dry
It was sad to watch, we were all glad that she was fine, but you could just see panic in all the parents' eyes. Almost immediately parents, myself included, went to check on their children and coaches stopped everyone from what they were doing and basically said, "I don't care if you just took a drink or not, take one now!" What I found upsetting though was the fact that on a day like yesterday (very hot), at a sporting event (that children participate in) there should be no reason these kids should be drinking soda. I was probably one of the youngest parents present and I knew not to give your child, or yourself, soda while participating in a physical activity. It actually dehydrates you more - sugar, caffeine, carbonated water, etc.
Below is a link I found that simply explains this. I was worried and if I can just inform one person out there and keep them from getting sick or their child, then this post was worth it.
Why Soda Pop Drains You Dry
Thursday, July 14, 2005
A Week's Worth of Drama
Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I know I haven't posted lately - seven days to be exact. Life is crazy and quite honestly, I was just too lazy to post. Here is a rundown of the past week's events.
1 - My life has enough drama that I could write my own sitcom and probably become a millionaire.
2 - [J] currently looks like a runaway from Hee Haw. Honey, I love you with or without that front tooth. I know it will get fixed soon and I know your feeling is the sooner the better.
3 - [N] returns to school in six days and is dreading every second of approaching doom. I will be going into work slightly late for the following two weeks just to make sure his ass hits a seat on that bus. He may hate school, but damn-it I'm going to make sure he goes!
4 - [A] has now given up on puking and would like to fill every diaper I have left in the house just to prove a point. Hopefully, it is a 24-hour bug.
5 - Gas...$2.35 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
6 - Currently my sister has more drama in her life right now than I. I wonder if I could borrow some bits for an episode or two of the sitcom.
7 - Harry will be at my house by 7pm Saturday. I will then be locked up all day Sunday enjoying him.
8 - I've now taken to putting brackets around my people's initials []. [A]'s would get confusing because you can start a sentence with A.
Huh, can't think of anything else to write right now. Oh...
9 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starts tomorrow! I will see it by the end of the weekend. People, you can place bets on that.
1 - My life has enough drama that I could write my own sitcom and probably become a millionaire.
2 - [J] currently looks like a runaway from Hee Haw. Honey, I love you with or without that front tooth. I know it will get fixed soon and I know your feeling is the sooner the better.
3 - [N] returns to school in six days and is dreading every second of approaching doom. I will be going into work slightly late for the following two weeks just to make sure his ass hits a seat on that bus. He may hate school, but damn-it I'm going to make sure he goes!
4 - [A] has now given up on puking and would like to fill every diaper I have left in the house just to prove a point. Hopefully, it is a 24-hour bug.
5 - Gas...$2.35 YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
6 - Currently my sister has more drama in her life right now than I. I wonder if I could borrow some bits for an episode or two of the sitcom.
7 - Harry will be at my house by 7pm Saturday. I will then be locked up all day Sunday enjoying him.
8 - I've now taken to putting brackets around my people's initials []. [A]'s would get confusing because you can start a sentence with A.
Huh, can't think of anything else to write right now. Oh...
9 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starts tomorrow! I will see it by the end of the weekend. People, you can place bets on that.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Snapping the Heads of the Dandelions
Talk about needing an attitude adjustment. I totally just snap J's head off and I'm not quite sure. I mean the morning was going as usual and I went to ask if was almost ready to go and then GROWL the claws came out. He just look at me like "my god what just possessed you?"
The Fourth was fine. We didn't see any real fireworks, but that's okay. We went to a town fair on Monday and Mo road a camel. N wasn't going anywhere near the thing, but she got right on up there and road around.
I have to go now, must leave for work. My duties at home are temporarily postponed while the duties of an outside job take over. I really hope I don't decapitate anyone today.
The Fourth was fine. We didn't see any real fireworks, but that's okay. We went to a town fair on Monday and Mo road a camel. N wasn't going anywhere near the thing, but she got right on up there and road around.
I have to go now, must leave for work. My duties at home are temporarily postponed while the duties of an outside job take over. I really hope I don't decapitate anyone today.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Book Order
I just pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6)!!
I just pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6)!!
I ROCK THIS LAND!!!!
Order Now
Missy,
Are you reading this??? I just got my copy, have you gotten yours?
I just pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6)!!
I ROCK THIS LAND!!!!
Order Now
Missy,
Are you reading this??? I just got my copy, have you gotten yours?
Monday, July 04, 2005
Happy 4th Everyone!!
I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy 4th! Dad I just want you to know that yesterday at the air show when they introduced the Marine pilots, I gave a big "Hoo Rah" in your honor. J didn't even look at me funny, I think he kinda expected it.
Slightly annoyed though, I can't believe that we've allowed the events of the past few years to completely change our lives. I stood in line for a good twenty-five minutes just to enter the Fair because of the bag searches and metal detectors. I understand...it's just for our safety, you can't trust even the commonest person anymore, blah, blah, blah. They have changed the way we live!
Plus, now I have to go to the pharmacy just to get the generic brand of sinus pills. The woman working the counter also warned that this may get to the point where I'd need a prescription for the generic brand sinus pills. You've got to be kidding me! My mom knows how I feel on this subject since she was with me at the time and had to listen to me rant, but come on...PROHIBITION DIDN'T WORK! Is this suppose to magically cure the disease that is meth production?
Okay, I'm sorry for the ranting and raving! I guess I'm just a spoiled American that likes her freedom. Freedom, people, Freedom!! I want to thank all the men and women out there who are willing to give their lives for my freedom. To all the men and women who have served our military in the past that I know would again serve and risk their lives if needed! Thank you to all who protect my right to go get sinus pills from the pharmacy! At least we have a pharmacy.
Slightly annoyed though, I can't believe that we've allowed the events of the past few years to completely change our lives. I stood in line for a good twenty-five minutes just to enter the Fair because of the bag searches and metal detectors. I understand...it's just for our safety, you can't trust even the commonest person anymore, blah, blah, blah. They have changed the way we live!
Plus, now I have to go to the pharmacy just to get the generic brand of sinus pills. The woman working the counter also warned that this may get to the point where I'd need a prescription for the generic brand sinus pills. You've got to be kidding me! My mom knows how I feel on this subject since she was with me at the time and had to listen to me rant, but come on...PROHIBITION DIDN'T WORK! Is this suppose to magically cure the disease that is meth production?
Okay, I'm sorry for the ranting and raving! I guess I'm just a spoiled American that likes her freedom. Freedom, people, Freedom!! I want to thank all the men and women out there who are willing to give their lives for my freedom. To all the men and women who have served our military in the past that I know would again serve and risk their lives if needed! Thank you to all who protect my right to go get sinus pills from the pharmacy! At least we have a pharmacy.
