Into My Mind

Okay the following will be a VERY embarrassing story, but way too hilarious not to share. Info needed to understand the story: if you not related to me, then you probably don't know the type of birth control I use. Yes, my dear internets, I use birth control. I may have been raised Catholic, but if you are 25 with three kids (the oldest being in second grade), you'd use birth control too.

Anyway, I used "the ring". I say used because yesterday that changed and I'm being put back on the regular standby of the pill. After 18 months on the ring, my body finally rejected it. That's the longest my body has taken to reject anything, typically after a year my body is done with you. So "the ring", it is exactly as it sounds. It is a plastic clear looking ring (kind of like those bracelets kids wear) that you insert, yes you insert, into that area for 21 days. You then remove it, have your period, put a new one in. The problem with my body, I quit having periods. Some may call this a blessing from above; me, I've only skipped 3 times, see above reason why I'm on birth control.

Now into the story...

I went to the laundry mat Sunday evening. I load all the different batches into the machines, towels in one, darks, whites, etc. I sit down, read a few chapters of my current fiction novel "The Confessor", get up, dump in the fabric softener, read some more. The loads finish and it's time to move everything to the driers. I start with the towels since they always take that longest to dry. Grab the towels, toss them into the basket with wheels, and head off to the driers. Wait a minute, something fell onto the floor. What is that? Did a bracelet end up mix with the towels? It's clear, it sure does resemble that thing inserted in me. Couldn't be, throw it in the trash. Finish all the laundry, head home, forget to tell J the story of the weird thing in the towels.

Now, as of last night, I know what that weird thing in the towels was. See, in our household you always keep something handy to clean up with afterward. Please tell me you get my drift "clean up with afterward". Well, I prefer a towel. Hand towel, bath towel, whatever is available. Please don't freak if you come to my house. It's not like it goes back on the sink to dry your hands with. Guess what that thing in the laundry mat was? It was my ring!! It must have come out after the last excursion and I didn't even realize it. How horrible is that? The gods want me pregnant. I discovered this last night when I was to remove it for my impending period. It wasn't there, but my period was. I ran down stairs, laughing hysterically, and shared my laundry mat adventure with J. He about dropped a load right there. I told him to have a good laugh and explained that now I understand why my period started last night instead Thursday.

I still swear by the ring, but have just discovered that after great exertion I'm just not very aware of what is or isn't in my body. I will now go back to trying to remember to take that little pill everyday.